"I just recently had my Visa card stolen. Right now, it's
everywhere I want to be." Scott Wood
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A Scottish lad and lass were sitting together on a heathery hill in the Highlands. They had been silent for a while when the lass said, "A penny for ye thoughts Angus."
The lad was a bit abashed, but he finally said, "Well Mary, I was thinkin' how nice it would be if ye'd give me a wee bit of a kiss."
So she did so.
But he again lapsed into a pensive mood which lasted long enough for the lass to ask him, "What are ye thinkin' now Angus?"
To which the lad replied: "Well, I was hopin' ye hadn't forgot the penny!"
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An angry wife screamed at her husband, "Before we married, I was going out with men much more intelligent than you!"
"I can believe that" he retorted. "Obviously they were too clever to make the mistake I did."
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| A very nervous patient came in for root-canal treatment. After being given his injections, the dentist left him alone for a few minutes.
W hen the dentist returned, he was surprised to see the patient standing next to the tray of dental equipment about to be used on him. "What are you doing?" the dentist asked.
Focused on his task, the patient replied, "I'm taking out the instruments I don't like."
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A helicopter with staff from an oil rig had problems and crashed (safely) into the local lake. Struggling to get out, one may tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest and jerked open the exit door.
"Don't jump!" the pilot yelled. "The helicopter is supposed to float!" As the man leapt into the lake, he yelled back, "Yes, and it's supposed to FLY too!"
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