Painting
| Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie, "Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?"
"Sure that sounds great!" said Julie. "Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man. "Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage." The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife. "Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied. About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner.
The man was amazed. "You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied. "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
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| SPEEDING TICKET |
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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
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| EXPOSURE
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| A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" She asks, "Why officer?" "Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down and says, "OH MY GOSH, I left the baby on the bus again!"
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| RIVER W ALK
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| There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river, then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side!" |
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