An elderly man in Adelaide calls his son in Sydney And says, "I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are
divorcing... forty-five years of misery is enough."
Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sic k of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call
your sister in Brisbane and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck
they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her dad immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT
getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my
brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a
thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and then hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife... "Okay," he says,
"They're coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares."
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
| A guy walks into the local Centrelink office, marches straight up to the counter and says, "Hi! I hate being on the dole. I'd really rather have a job."
The clerk behind the Centrelink desk says, "Your timing is excellent. W e just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes.
Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says, "You're kidding me!"
The Centrelink officer says, "Yeah, well, you started it".
|
| ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~ |
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