A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth
time.
—How wonderful! But I hope you don‘t mind me asking what happened to
your first husband?“ —He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.“
—Oh, how tragic! what about your second husband?“
—He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died“
—Oh how terrible! I‘m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.“
—He died of a broken neck“
—A broken neck?“
—He wouldn‘t eat the mushrooms……“
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
The man gets out of his car, walks all the way out to the farmer and asks
him —Ah excuse me mister, but what are you doing?“
The farmer replies —I‘m trying to win a Nobel Prize.“
—How?“ asks the man, puzzled.
—Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in
their field.“
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
| —I can‘t find the cause of your illness,“ said the doctor, —But, I think it may be due to drinking,“ —In that case, replied the Blonde, —I shall come back when you are sober.“ |
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| ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Woman in crowd at a political rally where Sir Winston Churchill is speaking —You mongrel Churchill, if you were my husband I‘d put rat poison in your tea.“ Churchill replies —And if you were my wife, Ma‘am, I‘d drink it!“
~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
Three blondes are stuck on a deserted island, when one of them finds a lamp on the beach. She picks it up and gives it a little rub and a Genie pops out.
The Genie looks at the three Blondes and says —I normally give three wishes, but since there are three of you, I will grant each of you one wish“
Well the first one is tired of being on the island, so she wishes to go back home. POOF! She disappears.
The second one said she too is tired of the island, and wishes to go home. POOF! She also disappears.
The genie then turns to the last Blonde and asks her what her wish is. —Gee,“ she says, —I‘m awfully lonely here by myself. I wish my friends were still here“
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