Cuckoo Clock
The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"
W ell, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too
easy.
Around 3 a.m., a bit blitzed, I headed for home. Just as I got in the
door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed
another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-
witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a
possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I
told him Midnight. He didn't seem disturbed at all. Then he said,
"We need a new cuckoo clock."
W hen I asked him why, he said, "W ell, last night our clock
cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh, sh*t," cuckooed 4 more
times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled,
cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the cat and f*rted.
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| Microsoft -v- General Motors: |
|
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.
At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would c rash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally, your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. |
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