| W hen his marriage broke up, my manager became very philosophical. "I guess it was in our stars," he sighed. "Her astrological sign is the one for EARTH and mine is the one for W ATER. Together we made MUD." -Lori Phillips |
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You can buy anything on eBay. I bought the world's oldest globe. It's flat - Buzz Nutley
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| Pessimist: "My glass is half empty" Optimist: "My glass is half full" Corporate downsizing consultant: "Looks like we've got twice as much glass as we need here" - Janice Wilson |
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The teacher in our Bible class asked a woman to read from the Book of Numbers about the Israelites wandering in the desert. "The Lord heard you when you wailed, "If only we had meat to eat!" she began. "Now the Lord will give you MEAT. You will not eat it for JUST one day, or two days, or five, or ten or 20 days, but for a MONTH, until you LOATHE it." The woman paused and asked, "Hey, isn't that the Atkins diet?" - Dave Martin
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| My Daughter told me she needed a calculator for her maths homework. I handed her one, then asked, "W hat would you do if you had no calculator and had to work it out in your head?" "That's cheating, Mummy," she said. "W e're not supposed to USE OUR HEADS." - Anne Walker |
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