There are a lot of dumb people out there.
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The wheels spinning, but the hamsters dead. The cheese slid off his cracker. Doesn‘t have all his dogs on one leash. Her sewing machine is out of thread A few beers short of a six-pack A sandwich short of a picnic He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down Not the sharpest knife in the drawer The lights are on, but nobody‘s home A few bric ks shy of a full load Will spend all his life pushing doors marked —pull“ Not the brightest crayon in the box If she had an ounce of brains she would fall over top-heavy If stupidity was music, he would be a brass band. If you gave her a penny for intelligence, you would get c hange back She would trip over a cordless phone If she spoke her mind, she‘d probably be speechless
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| The man was so obviously inebriated that he could barely walk. He stumbled around the parking lot for a few minutes. After trying his keys on five other cars, he finally sat in his car and turned the lights on, then off, wipers on, then off.
Finally, when he was the last car in the car park, he pulled out onto the road and started to drive away. The Patrolman who was waiting for this, turned on his lights and pulled him over.
He administered the breathalyzer test and was shocked when the man tested at 0.00.
The patrolman was dumbfounded. —This equipment must be broken!“ he exclaimed. —I doubt it,“ said the driver, —Tonight I am the Designated Decoy.“ |
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.
The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds, —Shut up….you‘re next!“
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